dpp 5

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lights

super cold and rainy. under lots of blankets currently dreaming of hot cocoa.

we have recently started a go fund me for our adoption process. if interested, give here.

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late happenings

things that have been going on lately:

-waiting (things to do: go to a day-long adoption meeting. wait for birth-mom placement. finish raising dough. should i nest more??)

-learning more about patience and trust and grace. and how do you wait well? sometimes wish this came more naturally, but then we’d basically be perfect and what would be the point of needing God?

-2.5 years left of grad-school after december. oh. my. goodness. feels like we’re almost through mordor. bring it on mt. doom de dissertation!

-counting blessings in the small and big things (letting God bless me through other families allowing us to bask in their crazy. not sure how my heart is ok with this, sometimes it is not, but holding a new baby for a few hours on a couch and attempting adult conversation with a mama or eating supper with a family through the shrieks and laughs and risible questions has been super filling and restorative)

-researching baby names (asking for family names. searching through the pleathora of vacuous baby-name lists. going through old name lists i’ve recorded in old journals)

-experiencing waves of different emotions: anger, apathy, ok-ness, etc. (my most real description some days: “unbalanced”)

-matt is considering growing out his hair again. big news. #ifyougotitflauntit

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-appreciating the surprisingly appropriate bible studies our church women have been leading: joshua, proverbs, ruth. all about waiting, patience, faith/trust and wisdom. ugh, my heart and mind are being stretched and pummeled. netflix and saucy historical fiction are not the solution…so thankful for a caring, wise group of women. they are good people.

“And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.” – Deuteronomy 8:2.

this verse struck and caused me to ponder “our infertility” dessert we’ve been wading through during bible study.  perhaps i am finally starting to see how God has been revealing and humbling our hearts. i have also started to accept the ways he has constantly been providing for us in ways we didn’t think to ask. he is good and his mercies are new every morning.

the end.

night

brushing teeth

brushing teeth

waiting for matt to come home–late classes on tuesday.

tired of looking through bad papers that make me want to rewrite them and tell the student “this is what writing is.”

or telling them that they need to spell “psychology” correctly,  because you really don’t want your paper to be about “christianity and phycology (the study or algae)” or about “christianity and physiology (the study of living systems’ functions–this could be a decent paper topic).”

scribbling in note books. checking numbers. just sitting here. waiting.

listening to the jane eyre soundtrack. love dario marianelli.

been working a lot on wedding projects for my sister. the ring and date have been set.

matt is enjoying classes. ordered books keep blocking my front door. no more books. my dad is never going to help us move again.

been reading wilkin’s women of the word. i greatly recommend it. opening my eyes to looking at scripture historically and culturally. training me to have different objectives to reading and applying. it would be so much easier to read and check it off my list. but it is good to be challenged and take a new approach.

we love atlanta. it has been lovely not to have it feel like a big city, living in decatur. but there are plenty of “big city” things to do when we get the itch.

we’re attending our first life group tomorrow night. being the new people again definitely lends a lot of perspective. however, it has been nice to not jump back into crazy.

we have sent in all our paper work. taken all our tests. waiting for the ok to get fingerprinted and start our home study. ready to have babies under our roof.

maddie's block prints with my necklaces sitting on top

maddie’s block prints with my necklaces sitting on top