learning to be alright

exploring downtown with the man

exploring downtown with the man

i am currently in the process of learning to be alright with being alright.

if that makes sense.

it struck me the other day–as my friends admitted to how hard parenting is–

(and they struggled for years with infertility)–

that sometimes i create these scenarios about how i will react to something because of what we’ve experienced…

their admittance took me aback.

for them to admit that their “dream life” is hard

is pretty monumental and humbling.

yes, we have been struggling with infertility for almost three years–

but i am learning to see and appreciate the time i have with matt.

that it is ok to be happy and not worry about all

the “irons in the fire” as my ma puts it.

that we need to make plans around the unknown–

life cannot be put on a petrified hold because “what if we get the call?!

God still provides for us.

it is getting easier to consciously see the surrounding provisions His hands have freely given.

and we can’t walk away from that.

there are great and wondrous moments to be had.

time to be spent

with our community, our city–each other.

and that is good.

God is good.

i can and need to be identified as more than our current situation.

however, there will still be hard days when i am angry

and just cry.

but for now, thank you, jesus, for your unending mercy.

You are good.

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summer of ’09 a.k.a. “sappy town”

one time, a long, long, time ago, there was a couple who had been dating for only a few months before they were separated by a measly summer, but at the time, seemed like eternity. therefore, numerous packages and letters had to be sent to keep the ties between them kindled and taut with youthful earnestness. the result five years later, is a sickly bunch of sappy, oozing, pheromone saturated, letters. however, there were a few that caught my eye from june 2009.

california love package: part maddie

california love package: part maddie

california love package: part katherine

california love package: part katherine

california love package: part becca

california love package: part becca

california love package: part moi

california love package: part moi

post cards from summer vacation in black hills to california

post cards from summer vacation in black hills to california

my man knows

matt saw this video and thought i would like it. i did. and bawled. and now he is playing the song for me. i am a sucker.

oh, and i ate my first capers last night. loved them.

p.s. they are not fish, but pickled flower buds. delicioso.