last week: roca, nebraska

last week was my first time

without a job (since september).

practicing with my aperture, the f-thing, and my iso. ma gave me a camera lesson.

practicing with my aperture, the f-thing, and my iso. ma gave me a camera lesson.

matt had spring break

and we left for

our old home.

my expectations

of course

were

wambasted

(a word here that means: blown out of the water, as usual).

reaching up, up, up!

reaching up, up, up!

we were busier

than i had intended.

i have always struggled with

that problem

affiliating break with relaxation

nothing

being absolutely lazy.

just never happens.

(i need to start stifling that pipe dream).

mi abuela de amor

mi abuela de amor

anyhow.

the week was different

more meaningful

in ways

i could not have imagined.

God created space for me to see

the lovely women

replacing mis pequeñas hermanas lindas.

nights.

so late

the clock hands reaching upwards

ma falling asleep on the couch

tata in bed.

the living room so warm

bodies draped

in pleasant, tired heaps

emitting whispers

and loud laughs.

my mind just gaped

not acquainted with

these new forms:

of woman.

marvelous unexpected snow!

marvelous unexpected snow!

my spirit felt blessings

trickling in

to reservoirs tucked

away

unused.

but brimming now

with an air of wonder

at these lovely

creatures stirring

at the feet of womanhood.

lights shown from

their eyes

and music from their lips

that i drank

hungrily–

excited with

the prospects

of new friends

never leaving

the last blooms of the amaryllis

the last blooms of the amaryllis

 

 

 

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worry wart

lately, i have been pondering a lot. i often think about our budget and how much money we are making and putting away. with my first pay check from my new job, i have been recently wondering if this cleaning job is really the job i want to stay with (not to mention my worries of my job’s inflexibility of taking time off around christmas).

today, i planned on beginning a new job search. however, my cleaning partner suggested i talk with our manager and discuss/request the time off i wanted. consequently, the talk proceeded and i walked away with a two week christmas break. God never ceases to amaze me and stun my mouth and mind for words. i worry and i fuss. i rely on myself to start looking for a new job. i fret about our savings and marriage. and what does God do? he gives me a great, at home weekend with my husband and a two week christmas vacation–plenty of time to visit both families. in addition, i asked my cleaning partner about her paycheck and realized my last check’s minuscule amount would be temporary. the Lord does provide–in his time.

this weekend matt and i are celebrating our birthdays together. his is the 26th of september and mine the 1st of october. we have always had issues of unbeknownst angst and competition with our birthdays so close together and trying to comply with 2 separate birthdays. well, to heck with that tradition! we decided on doing a birthday dinner party on saturday. i am going to try to imitate our israeli dinner  (with courses and hospitality) and hopefully the israeli couple will come! 3 other couples with be joining us. for appetizers my mother and i agreed on pears and grapes with brie and gouda (its apple smoked!). the entree will consist of chicken tikka masala (thanks to a great recipe from my mom and renee) with fresh naan and possibly a mint chutney. and for dessert you ask? well, i will be using our new ice-cream maker for a lemon basil sorbet. how does that sound? that is what i thought. absolutely. delicious. hope your week is going splendidly also.

tomorrow, tomorrow, i love you……

tomorrow, i start work or at least training. it has not quite hit me yet that i am going back to work…finally. it seems like it has been forever since i last worked. my last few weeks of working in nebraska were mangled with my own projects, packing, saying goodbye, catching up on last minute mending on my grandmother’s hardy sewing machine, helping others unpack, etc. it was a crazy time. however, this time around, there will be more of a schedule and routine. this job will be hard work; nonetheless, with a lighter monday and tuesday and wednesday through friday being 8:30 to 4:30 (unless, i finish sooner), i believe it should indeed keep me occupied and allow me to meet new faces and different areas of our town.

this tuesday starts the beginning of attending ruf (reformed university fellowship). we have been baby-sitting the ruf pastor’s kids so that his wife could attend ruf large group with her husband. she is going to start going every other week so that she can have more time with the kids and so that we can have a chance at attending also. i am excited to start helping with ministry and meeting others in our community. it will help matt with finding more familiar faces on IU’s super large campus.

and saturday, we get our first house guest!! woot! woot! WOOTTTT!

change

it’s pouring outside. the windows are finally serving a purpose of allowing the cool, dampness to permeate the stifled warmth of my house. i received a call this morning. a call i have been desiring, but responded to differently than i had intended. a call saying i had received a job.

these 2 1/2 weeks in bloomington have flown by. they have been better than expected. still, it has been hard to be alone during the days. the evenings, matt studies still. he is a man that studies, but this masters’ degree program has brought forth a new dimension of studying for him. i chose not to believe matt’s sister when she said that he would have no extra time and be consumed with work during every waking moment (she finished her master’s degree in a year). my body has began to feel listless. the stillness is good; even so, i want my time to glorify God (laying in bed, surfing the internet does not count). with new friends, it is also been hard to know when too much is too much–you don’t want to start sounding desperate…”so what are you doing this week? busy today?… what time?…. oh, i was thinking…all day?”

when we first arrived to bloomington, i filled out some applications: a restaurant, a department store, etc. i looked for tutoring jobs in english and writing.  i hesitated to search and to settle at a job knowing that matt will be getting off a week around thanksgiving and around 3 1/2 weeks off at christmas. no job will give me that kind of time off. with family now away in nebraska and cali,  a few days off for christmas won’t cut it as a holiday. nonetheless, i knew i needed to find a job. so monday night, i googled all the nearest furniture restoration/repair and cabinetry shops. yesterday, i started visiting.

this is the lists:

 

3 cabinet shops into the search, i lost faith in the furniture repair community (i will touch on this later). the 4th shop was impossible to find. my poor car kept winding on old country roads, backtracking my trails, and finding new towns. i did eventually stumble upon it. the shop was perfect. reminded me of my dad maybe 15 years ago in his business. the man was interested in hiring and said he would get back to me by the end of this week. my next stop was to drop off my application at a maid company. they had time for an interview also and we talked about time off around the holidays. the manager said i would have to pick one holiday or the other to have more time off at.

2 jobs. one i have experience at (wood working), would probably be more flexible, and be something i really enjoy. the other job: cleaning. i enjoy cleaning, the hours are not bad, the holidays are slightly flexible, and i can get paid more than the wood working job. i would chose flexibility still over money in this situation.

this morning though, at 10:45, i received a call. the maid company. i had until 12 to accept their job offer. after a call to my mother and to matt. i prayed and tried to reach the furniture repair shop (matt said i should call him to see how interested he was in hiring). no one answered the phone. i made a decision and called the maid company back. i said yes.

trusting that the Lord will provide is hard–that His plan will work out for the best. not seeing the end result is difficult and i am struggling. i am more at peace now, but this job will provide a set of challenges that i am going to have to pray through and lean on the Lord’s will and overwhelming grace and love. we’ll see where this new journey takes me.